Ayahuasca – a Private Ceremony

December 2017

Many more journeys have been taken. Some more with N and his various assistants but also with other of our regular, sincere and serious participating community members like *E, H & G. (E, H & G etc. are initials of first names, protecting individual’s privacy)

The past year has been severely intense in terms of global awakening, raised consciousness, extreme and intense warfare between light and dark forces, soft disclosures but mostly, the imminent defeat of the Cabal.

The world has woken up and so have we! The energy has been intense and the personal struggle for growth and higher consciousness even more so. We have ventured into taking private, sacred plant journeys and every single one has been profoundly significant and memorable to me. We have learned how to NOT prepare San Pedro and we have learned that Soma and Aya are gentle yet serious teachers. I was wow’d by the guidance and severe insight of Golden teacher while the Mexicans brought a gentle connection while hiking. Ban Hua Thai is kin to my revered Golden Teacher and Penis Envy is tenacious, to say the least. I have managed to tap into the Plant Spirit with more ease and can even do so now without the ingestion and aid of the plant. With this highlight I also once again faced the Dark Night of the Soul. After one of the most profound journeys ever where I battled an entity called Ego. I walked out victorious and my life literally changed 180 degrees thereafter.

Ironically I made the difficult decision to go on a course of anti-depressants. The combination of these two events together actually gave me as a human, a healer, an empath, a stepmother, life partner and colleague a much-needed time out. One hears of so many opinions regarding the use of Western Medicine, filled with chemicals and this clearly clashes with the holistic approach our community has toward our daily products. Be it cleaning or medical supplies. My greatest concern was that I might lose my permanent “connection” I’ve become accustomed to. I made the conscious decision to carry on with my daily mantras and affirmations, declaring sovereignty, a being always connected to Source, the Universe and my guides. And so it was. Fast forward 2 months and I feel calmer, less anxious and stressed. I am also still connecting and downloading randomly as needed!

With this level of connection then, I find myself at Sky of Abundance (neighbour to our favorite country farm). G is hosting his very first Aya ceremony and I am honored to be a part of this momentous moment, together with my husband P and another close friend N, joining in sacred, private ceremony. After reading up and doing some homework on the use of Aya while on antidepressants, I have decided to make a safe and informed decision to limit my intake of medicine in ceremony in conjunction with a healthier diet and stopping all medications 36 hours prior to the first ceremony. I still wanted to feel part of the sacred ceremony without ending up with serotonin syndrome or worse, dead! Nothing “kicked in” for me as the others would call it but I instantly connected with the Divine Mother energy. I have previously experienced her as both young and old but this was a proper Mother energy, explaining that everything is about love, like a mother’s love would be. Like the nurturing or the tough love, (the latter of course never being permanent!). How you would handle a child is how you would interact with others. My partner needs nurturing and I know he craves this. I relayed this to him the next morning and the gratitude, love and tears he showed was confirmation of how in tune Mother Ayahuasca is with those seeking answers.

As I’m very in tune with my husband in terms of emotions, energy and vibration, I understand him better than I almost know myself and therefor know that he has been actively preparing for this journey on a sub-conscious level all week, even if he didn’t know it! I knew this for sure and for the first time ever I channeled Mother Aya en-route to my corporate job just two days prior. She gave me insight into his issues and what he’ll be facing/realizing this coming weekend which would be: He must find a healthy balance between spiritual and 3D life It is in his nature to be drawn to fun/excitement/adventure. This weekend though there will be a realization that taking plant medicine is about doing the inner work. SERIOUS inner work. This realization has already set in in the previous week and Aya has been gently guiding him to this fact.

Observations during Friday evening Ceremony

I sense a very gentle energy, yet tenacious. There are no seriously threatening elements around though. It feels like a very safe and sacred circle. Immediately after everyone drank in, the spirits came via the wind.

Hubby has gone deep within it seems, becoming quiet. The newbie N is having a true first timer experience I see. I observe him to be a perfectionist, always in control. I sense he is used to being watched and having his “guard up” has become a part of his lifestyle. He is holding back, focussed, concentrating, yet not letting go and allowing Mother Aya to do the work he has actually come here to do. I see myself in him. A control freak. The message is to trust the process more, to let go of the strict self-control. That all of us are equal and that nobody here will judge you. You should never anticipate judgement from an awakened community, not to mention your tribe members sharing in your Aya circle. Make no mistake, this is a very common feeling for first timers and everyone that have done a journey or 10 will tell you they too felt like that the first time.

G, the host of this ceremony, is torn between enjoying his brew, the journey and also being the “shaman” or guide for the evening. He has an intense journey and found it easy to just let go. His future ceremonies should be kept small and intimate, perhaps not exceeding 6 people. He is currently wrestling many dark energies/forces which are from previous lives but also actual objects. He should clear his home and take ownership of his Sovereignty. He should basically evict the attachments, negative and lower vibration and take control of his Divine Self. They’ve been attached for eons and it’s a continuous struggle in his own mind/being as to who the real HE is. They are driving him sort of nuts, feed off his confusion and basically enjoy the Wrestle Mania going on because to date, there has been no threat to their existence. But guess who appeared on his path? The person/being that declare herself a Soul Warrior. Fighting for the freedom, liberty and sovereignty of every single soul in this universe, especially those having a human experience. I feel the energy in my solar plexus as this awareness is re-lived. Who knows whether he will understand or agree with me regarding the above? We’ll wait and see what the feedback is come Sunday….if any.

Observations during Saturday evening Ceremony

We moved to a new, previously unused space and the boys build us a beautiful, structured fire from scratch for our planned fire ceremony. A very spicy vegetarian soup was brewing in the field kitchen and we all felt rested and relaxed, ready for the light and short ceremony that followed.

The whole weekend I had the constant awareness of the Divine Mother, a feminine energy that has been repeating itself to me and the journeys undertaken.

  • A Mother’s love
  • Nurture
  • Tough love is not permanent but necessary
  • Love and nurture yourself
  • When interacting with others i.e. family, children, and colleagues etc. the point to remember is “How would a Mother react to her child in a certain situation?”
  • Mother Earth
  • Mother Ayahuasca
  • Males also nurture (humans tend to label gender)

We started earlier in the evening and retired sooner to catch up on personal insights, lessons and overdue sleep. We had many laughs around the fire and precious friendships were solidified. In conclusion it also became so clear how everyone of us need a nurturing friend that can listen, support and validate you in an intimate, personal and nurturing way. I have my life partner and the two boys G & N have their own special “nurturing friend connection” which is such a blessing.

The “Buddy System” can now officially become the “Mommy System”!


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